Scared to Join a Support Group? The Truth about Group Therapy for OCD
I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve heard it:
“Is this normal?”
“Have any of your other clients dealt with this?”
“I can’t tell anyone in my life about these thoughts…”
“Not even my spouse knows I do this…”
“I don’t know anyone else who struggles with this…”
In these moments of vulnerability and shame, I so desperately want my clients to believe that they are not alone. I want them to know just how many others struggle with the same thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that they do. However, so often, the shame and guilt that accompanies OCD imprisons my clients in their isolation. They fear the judgment that they might receive if others know what they struggle with, and as a result, they silently suffer. This leads to avoidance of once-loved activities, even to the point of shutting down emotionally or pushing away friends and family.
Inevitably, a reinforcing cycle forms: as people start disconnecting from others, they may stop receiving invitations or miss opportunities to be in rewarding relationships. This does not have to be your story. If you were a fly on the wall of my counseling office, you would hear story after story that sound just like yours. The truth is, suffering is universal, and OCD is incredibly common. Additionally, OCD is fairly predictable in that I have yet to hear an intrusive thought or compulsion that has not been verbalized by at least a dozen other clients.
The truth is, shame thrives in isolation. Those thoughts you think are unique and must mean you’re a terrible monster of a human being? I’d bet my career on the fact that they’re not nearly as “weird” as you think, and that innumerable people have almost identical forms of the same ones. That strange thing you do to feel safe? The one you feel too embarrassed to talk about with anyone else? Yep, I’d bet $100 that someone could “out-weird” you with their own safety-seeking rituals. When we become brave enough to come out of isolation, talk about our experiences, and listen to others, an amazing thing happens: we realize we’re not alone, that others struggle in the same way we do, and that there is hope. This is where the power of OCD group therapy shines. My sincere hope is that after you read this blog, any fears you might have about joining a group will shrink just enough to allow you to take the risk and bring your OCD recovery to the next level.
Fear #1: If I go to an OCD support group, I’ll be exposed for the weirdo/bad/irresponsible/imposter that I am.
Truth: It’s right at the top of OCD’s job description to convince you that you’re basically the scum of the earth for having the “awful, disgusting, gasp-inducing” thoughts that you have. Oh, and that you’re the only one in the world who has them. But in OCD group therapy, I can almost guarantee you’ll hear 3 of the sweetest words in the human language: “I get it.” Almost all of my clients, at some point in individual therapy, have told me that their thoughts are too weird or “messed up” to say aloud to others. One promise I can make is that each person who willingly attends an OCD counseling group is a person who deeply understands the intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and the cycle of anxiety that OCD creates. What may feel completely unique to you will likely resonate deeply with others. OCD group therapy offers a space where the unique challenges of OCD are shared, and your fear of judgment will be quickly replaced with feelings of connection and mutual understanding.
Fear#2: If I share my intrusive thoughts with an OCD group, I’ll get reported or go to jail or lose everything or be publicly stoned or or or or…!!!
Truth: Everyone who joins an OCD group is taking on the same level of vulnerability and risk as you are: each member is showing up and saying “I’m here, obsessive thoughts and all. And I am trusting you with my story.” Additionally, I can look you in the eyes and confidently promise you that I will never ask, push, or expect you to share any specific content of your OCD obsessions and compulsions. The truth is, the content really doesn’t matter anyways because OCD is OCD is OCD. Same monster, different mask. Share as much as you want, or share nothing at all. Just show up. It’s worth it.
Fear#3: If I go to an OCD support group, won’t we all just be “compulsing” together? What if it makes my OCD worse to hear others’ stories? What if I “catch” someone else’s OCD theme?
Truth: Here’s the thing. You can’t “catch” OCD. Sure, you can be triggered by what you see and hear around you, but that’s true for everything you experience, from random conversations with friends, to commercials you see on TV, to things you overhear while checking out at the supermarket. Life itself is a trigger! An OCD support group is perhaps the safest place to experience a trigger, since it offers a community of folks who can relate, as well as a trained OCD therapist to offer guidance. Additionally, any topic you may be vulnerable to would likely become an issue at some inevitable point in the future if you remain untreated, so let’s tackle it now so that you can live a more fulfilling life sooner!
I hope this helps in reducing any fears you have about joining an OCD support group. If there are other worries, please book a free consult call with me to discuss them; I’m willing to bet you’ll feel a lot better afterwards. Group therapy helps expose the lies that OCD whispers to you, and the community aspect can empower you to stop giving in to its demands. If you’re curious about Group Therapy, call, text, or email me to say “no” to fear and “yes” to the next step in recovery.